It is important that time-outs be used appropriately in order to be an effective discipline technique. They are best used in children 2-5 years of age to pause an interaction and allow both the child and the parent to calm down. Studies have shown appropriately used time-outs can reduce child abuse, as parents are less likely to lose control and physically or emotionally attack their children.
When to use a time-out:
1. Do NOT use time outs for minor issues, annoying behaviors, or accidents. They are also not needed for most temper tantrums.
2. Time-outs are most useful for aggressive behaviors (intentionally breaking something, throwing objects, kicking/hitting), ignoring your request to stop doing something, or talking back (disrespect).
How to use a time out:
1. Discuss time-outs with your child before implementing this strategy for the first time. Be sure your child knows what to expect and consider a practice run to walk through the steps.
2. Pick a good location. The spot should be boring, such as a chair facing a blank wall, a hallway, or the lower step of a stairway. NEVER lock a child in a room or use a dark/scary room as a time-out location.
3. Determine the length of the time out. A good rule of thumb is one minute per year of age (up to 5 minutes). Short time outs are more effective than longer ones. Your child should not leave the time-out location until the time-out is over. If they do, the timer is reset after returning them to the time-out spot. Especially for children under 4 years of age, they may not remain quiet during the time out. It is up to the parents if they will also require quiet during the entire duration, and this may change as your child ages.
4. Release the child from the time-out after they have successfully stayed in the location for the required time. Praise them for being quiet and, depending on the situation, model appropriate behavior for the activity.
References
1. Siegel DJ, Bryson TP. No-Drama Discipline: The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind. New York: Bantam Books; 2016.
2. Bavolek SJ. Nurturing parenting: Teaching Empathy, Self Worth, and Discipline to School Age Children. 4th ed. Park City, UT: Family Development Resources; 1999.
3. Time-Out Technique. Pediatric Patient Education 2023; 10.1542/ppe_schmitt_242
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